Have you ever wondered why there are times when you feel absolutely amazing while other times you’re just feeling absolutely shitty? Sometimes there are valid reasons for our experiences but other times we feel hopeless and we just can’t understand what is happening.
Why am I feeling hopeless?
Why do I feel absolutely in the dumps?
And most importantly, what is the fucking reason?!
As you can see, this is clearly something I used to fret with for a while as well, but there is a cure. There is a way to go from feeling absolutely hopeless to feeling on top of the world and keeping it that way.
It’s probably not what you’re expecting though. Anyhow, let’s start with what we need to do.
The Reality Behind Feeling Good
The first thing we need to recognize about feeling good is that feeling good isn’t about bringing things that feel good into our lives. It isn’t. This might be the first point at which you switch off your computer and call it a day for this article, but regardless of how it may seem, our sense of wellbeing does not stem from anything we bring into our lives.
But Raghav, I still feel bad so what are you saying, am I holding on to something that I shouldn’t?
Yep, you hit the nail on the head.
See, we’re all different people and we all go through different experiences when it comes to feeling good in our environment. A lot of you will agree with me on this statement. Unfortunately, the common denominator for almost all of us who feel shitty in our lives is that we’re all holding on to something that isn’t right for us.
Think about it. Sometimes we hold on to our parents longer than we have to. We know we need to take care of ourselves and do the things that are right for us, yet as soon as we’re around our parents we turn into 10 year old children again.
Another example has to do with jobs and work. A lot of us start working at one place because it was something that was right for us back when we decided to take our lives by the horns and start fending for ourselves, yet how many of us are stuck working in jobs that don’t give us any satisfaction anymore. Even worse, how many of us are stuck working jobs that make us angry?
Now, I know some us of us might not feel this, you might have a great job, great parents, a great relationship, yet there is undoubtedly a large chunk of us who feel like we’re just not in control of our lives. We’re stuck doing things we don’t want to do and then we start to wonder why we feel absolutely awful at the end of the day, week, month, whatever it is.
The problem is that the world we live in is not a nice place. When you feel down, the world is going to tell you that it’s ok to feel down, that it’s with you and supports you towards making decisions that will truly satisfy you. It just doesn’t work like that.
Instead the world will try to sell you the next best watch or video game or car or whatever it is we look for so that we can just stop feeling the pain and suffering that seems to be coming our way.
Now, you might be wondering, if we’re holding on to things that aren’t good for us and that’s what is causing us to not feel good, then shouldn’t we be holding on to things that are good for us in order to help us move towards feeling better?
Now, while you’re onto something here, things can quickly get tricky. You see, I already mentioned that we don’t live in a world in which we’re supported to be the best versions of ourselves. What we’re supported to be is useful to other people. Now while this is great for the people we’re helping, it doesn’t really do us justice if we’re suffering by working in ways that aren’t right for us in the first place.
What this means is that if people are benefiting from our work but most of us working aren’t really happy, then who’s really benefiting in the end? The reason this is important is because until we can start living correctly as ourselves, it doesn’t matter what we bring into our lives, it will always cause us frustration and make us suffer.
This isn’t because what we bring into our lives is inherently bad or anything, it’s because it just isn’t right for us.
This is why the first step to feeling good isn’t holding on to things that are good for you, it’s letting go of the things that aren’t.
Let go of your unconscious connection to your parents.
Let go of work that just isn’t doing it for you anymore.
Let go of a relationship that just isn’t working and will never work.
Let go of looking for a future that subconsciously pulls all of the above problems back into your life.
If we can do all these things, in whatever areas of your life it affects you in, we can finally start to do the one that truly matters: Start living life in a way that truly makes us happy, even if the rest of the world doesn’t like it.
And if all of us start living like this, it won’t matter whether other people agree with who you are and what you want or not. It won’t matter whether you’re the most beautiful, most loved, smartest whatever it is we feel insecure about.
If we all start to live life in the way that’s right for us by letting go of what isn’t.
We can all start to live a life that feels good.